Five Nights At Freddy's (Movie)
This was originally posted on the 27th of October, 2023, in this Twitter thread.
It's like a really fun, campy, and kinda heartfelt straight to home video movie you'd see in the 90's/2000's, except it's about killer animatronics, and it has really good production value.
As for specifics:
🚩 Spoiler Warning 🚩
I think that the movie's core plot would've been solid enough to stand on it's own, but near the end the silliness really overtakes the plot, making it difficult to really take things seriously. With that said however, every time the movie gets goofy, it's extremely entertaining. I found moments like Freddy biting someone in half, and the Cupcake soaring through the air to be hysterical.
The climax with William Afton probably best illustrates why I think the goofiness feels like a crutch. It felt like William showing up was extremely obligated, yet it didn't actually feel warranted to me. They do a good enough job at building him up as a threat, but they don't really build up to him showing up. They just have Vanessa mention shortly beforehand that she's scared of him showing up. William's control over the haunted animatronics also isn't realy explained very well. Sure, he's the one who built and owns the animatronics so of course they'd do what he wants them to do, but the movie seems to specifically imply that the animatronics only listen to him because the drawings on the wall say that William's their friend, but that explanation doesn't explain all the times the animatronics go into murder mode even when William's not around. I'm pretty sure there's a line in which someone straight up just says, "William has control over them, somehow" and that really sums up my confusion pretty well.
As with most of FNAF though, with just a few assumptions, you can gloss over stuff and suspend your disbelief, and appreciate that William's really funny when he shows up. The climax with William is the most over the top scene in the entire movie, and it's extremely funny to watch. William really just shows up pissed, wearing his favorite fursuit, and he beats the shit out of Michael.
There's an entire subplot that just gets completely squandered, about Michael's aunt wanting to take Abby away. For the most part, it does a pretty good job at progressing the main plot, but to resolve the subplot Freddy just kills the aunt, and she's never brought up again.
Update: I only leaned after reading discussions online that Golden Freddy was in this movie. I don't think it actually even matters to the quality of the movie that a ton of people including myself completely missed that he was different from the normal Freddy, since you can pretty reasonably assume one of the ghost children was just possessing the cupcake, but it feels bizarre nonetheless that Golden Freddy doesn't get a big oh shit reveal.
To end off, here were my live reactions as I watched this movie:
Woah, Akuma pose
Putting the mask on ain't so easy 😔
Gamdbbjsizabsj Theorjsjzuz REFERENCE?!?!?!?!
Okay, I don't like this Mike guy.
Okay well, I guess I have sympathy for him.
Holy shit, did they really print out a real version of that poster!
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! IT'S THAT ONE WHITE GUY!!!!!
How did that lawyer get swindled here?
Dude why'd you turn it off? Clearly that was an epic 1/1,000,000 chance secret.
SHE JUST LIKE ME SHE JUST LIKE ME FR FR.
Ok, but seriously though, did she really just spend her whole ass night here?
Oh, so that's how that fellah attacks. That's funny as hell.
Damn, Bonnie got the read on 'em.
These death scenes are so funny to me.
Yo, criminal negligence, I know what is because my high school economics teacher taught me about the law.
Oh sweet, a BIG fort!
Okay well, that leap just looked silly.
Okay okay, William Afton might be the funniest part of this entire movie.
WHAT A SONG TO PUT DURING THE CREDITS!
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